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Thursday, January 17, 2013

Next Time I Won't Be So Nice...

Mel, Jo Jo, and I went to our local Kroger store yesterday.  I made a quick dash through the store and grabbed only the items on my list (very rare for me).  I was in a hurry because I was headed to B's school to eat lunch with her.  Once I reached the checkout, I let out a little sigh of frustration.  There was only one checkout open (like usual).  The U-Scans were open, but I had several items and it always seems to take forever at those things so I went to the only open check out.  My sigh wasn't because I was frustrated at the lack of check-outs, it was because of the cashier.  Every time I go to her she always makes some comment about the girls and how it would be so nice if I had a boy.  Every.Single.Time.  One would think that since we live in a small town that she would remember me and remember that she has already told me the same thing several times, but she doesn't.  This time I only had two of my three girls, so I thought maybe she wouldn't comment, but she did.  

 I started placing my items on the conveyor, with Mel's help.  She casually says how I have an awesome helper to which makes Mel blush and results in her covering her face and stop helping me.  Then the comments start to fly.  She looked at Jo Jo who was in the car seat in the shopping cart.  She was all bundled up and you could only see her head.  She had a blanket draped over her that was pink on one side and brown on the other, but only the brown was showing.  The cashier says, "Did you get a boy this time."  To which I casually reply, "Nope. Girl."  Then she says, "Oh.  I see the pink now.  I saw the brown and thought it was a boy."  Then the real kicker comes.  She opens her big mouth and says, "Too bad you didn't have a boy. I always like to see people have a boy and a girl."  Wow!!  Are you kidding me????  I guess I am too nice of a person, because after listening to this lady say this to me more times than I can count, all I can say in reply is, "As long as they are healthy, I don't care what they are."  I think when I said that she was still rambling and she probably didn't even hear me.  

My husband and I didn't have any trouble conceiving our three girls, fortunately, but what if we had?  What if after several failed attempts, I finally would have gotten pregnant?  What if I would have had several miscarriages in between?  The list of "what ifs" could go on.  Would my response have been different?  I hope so.  I can't believe this woman would say this to me not knowing what we could have gone through to bring these three beautiful girls into the world!

Next time, I'm not biting my tongue because I feel I need to stick up for those people who are having difficulties bringing children into this world.  I feel I need to stick up for our three beautiful, healthy, happy girls!
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18 comments:

  1. This resonates with me too! I was the last of four girls and I NEVER...NEVER heard my parents make a single comment about that I should've been a boy. I appreciate that so much!!

    Your girls are beautiful, by the way! :)

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  2. Seriously?! I can't believe someone would say that. You are right babies are gifts and yours are just perfect!

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  3. We have three girls and we get this all the time. Most of the time it is lighthearted. We would never trade our girls for anything, would we love a healthy boy sure just like we would love another healthy girl. You are so right....every baby is truly a miracle. a precious gift. part of a much greater plan.

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  4. You totally need to say something to her and her manager. That is rude. All children are blessings regardless of gender. And some people actually like having all the same gender of children!!! Has she thought about that! I agree your girls are all beautiful.

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  5. I just want to say that we were one of those couples who tried and tried and tried...many trips to the drs to see what was wrong with me or dh...lots of monitoring my temps...counting my days...patience, depression, and longing for a baby...all that stuff...and after 4 years and 1 miscarriage, i finally got pregnant with twin girls!!! After hoping and praying for at least ONE bundle of joy, we got lucky and got the 2-for-1 deal...lol.., the questions i get now is whether or not they were conceived naturally...which twin is the evil twin...or...you shouldn't dress them the same....seriously?!! my daughters are the love of our lives and no matter HOW we got them, it was truly a miracle...as all babies are.

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  6. Ugh. Sometimes folks really don't know when to stop. I agree that you should say something to her manager... if for no other reason than the fact she is harassing you. Your girls are a total blessing and no one should give you grief about it, let alone someone in customer service.

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  7. You know what I said on your FB post, but to add to it, people we don't know don't have a clue that we had two miscarriages in addition to our two girls.... I will always wonder what if....We wouldn't trade our girls for the world, but people need to realize there are, more often than not, back stories to every family. Slip her a paper with my comments and a copy of the Golden Rule!

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  8. Some people just don't think

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  9. You tell her girl. You would think just as you said that after so many time through her checkout she would notice. Open her eyes and if it still happens say something to her manager. They don't like that dribble either!!

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  10. Thank you for standing up for us that are having a hard time! It's been a little over a year and still not pregnant. It's been really tough, so thank you.

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  11. I have to say I've been there, the comments from those who don't have a right to an opinion on your life and it drives me nuts. But I also want to say thank you for wanting to stand up for those of us who have had struggles, because I'm one of them.

    Yesterday I was shopping with my 2 beautiful children. My son (4) and my daughter (7 months) and a couple asked me, somewhat rudely, why we only had 2 and why there was such a "large" age gap between them. My response shut them up good. "My husband and I have 6 children, 4 of them are just blessed enough to be in heaven with Jesus already" I wanted to cry right then and there, as believe me, my choice would be to have all 6 of my kids with me, but God saw fit to give us a beautiful boy and girl here on this earth and 4 babies we never got to meet that we'll see in heaven.

    So thank you, and I hope she never says anything to someone who has struggled! Bless you!

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